By Amanda Burlin
Swedes seem rude at the beginning...
Personal space is essential to a Swede. I started work as an intern on the same day as someone from the UK and when our manager first met us both, the UK girl immediately initiated a conversation. “Hello, nice to meet you! How are you?” etc. She was smiling, making eye contact and small-talking like a pro.
I found myself dumbfounded and suddenly very self-aware. I didn’t know how to make small talk, and I hadn’t even thought about saying it was nice to meet them or ask them how they were, because Swedes generally don’t do that. At home, people are more reserved and don’t really see value in asking “how are you?” unless you want the real answer.
We don’t talk to people on the bus, we don’t make eye contact and in the bigger cities we barely acknowledge each other if we pass each other on the street. Swedes are cold as the local weather, some might say.
But if you’re going to Sweden, feel free to try to strike up conversations with Swedes. They might be shocked at first, because talking to strangers is not something we usually do, but after some warming up...
...but they will be super nice to you when they know you (or if they’re drunk)
Why would you want to study in a country where people ignore you and your attempts to socialize? Because, once you get to know each other, Swedes will be super nice to you. They will ask “how are you?” and actually mean it and that makes them great friends to have (I promise I’m not biased).
Also, after a couple of beers, every Swede will be your best friend. They stop avoiding small talk and eye contact and will instead buy you drinks, even though it’s super expensive here compared to other countries, and sing drinking songs with you until you get tired of them. A drunk Swede is a non-reserved Swede.
How to say hello
There are some unwritten rules about how to say hello in Sweden that are great to know if you want to avoid awkward interactions.
If you’re meeting someone for the first time and you’ve never talked to them before, you shake their hand. It doesn’t matter if it’s in a business meeting or at a party, that is the general way of introduction. Then if you meet them later in an informal setting, you can hug them.
When I first moved to the Netherlands, I tried to shake my German roommate's hand the first time I met her. She just laughed at me, hugged me, and told me to not be so Swedish.
However, don’t be scared of hugging Swedes when you know them, because most of us love hugs and being close to one another. Maybe it’s an old survival tactic because of the cold climate? Who knows.



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